“Nose Game” strikes back

It’s my fault, really.

A few years ago, I introduced the staff at my church to “the nose game.”  I did it because I knew the rules, and they didn’t . . . so I easily won.  The rules are simple.  Someone throws out an idea, and needs someone to volunteer to do something, or take charge of something.  I immediately touch my nose and say “nose game.”  The last one at the table to touch their own nose is then designated as the volunteer.  It’s simple, it’s beautiful, and there can be no arguments, because as in the old Highlander series . . . there can be only one. (person who touches his/her nose last)

Of course, I don’t claim to have invented the nose game, or it’s variation– “thumbs up for saying grace”.  But I’m usually darn good at it.  Usually.

Today, I failed to observe the first tenent of successful nose game play.  I didn’t pay attention.  So by the time the nose game had begun–started by one of those staff members who had learned the game from me– it was too late.  I was (gulp) last. 

Et tu, Grasshopper?

It is finished.  I now have to write the cover article for this month’s church newsletter.  Deadline is noon tomorrow.  Lovely.  That doesn’t leave me a whole lot of procrastination time.  Just enough to complain here.

-MH

Nose game gone terribly wrong

 

Praha, Part 2 . . .

Finally we’re online!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I’ve been having some issues connecting my laptop to our hotels’ wifi signal.  Apparently it has something to do with Windows automatically looking for a DNS server in the US, and only finding a Czech DNS server . . . it’s all greek to me, but Josh Beben figured it out, so Josh gets points today.

Speaking of Josh . . . we’re both somewhat sick right now.  Cough/cold symptoms.  I loaded up on meds before leaving State College, thanks to Erin, but it’s been tough fending off the cough, and our supplies were running low . . . so Josh, Erin and I went looking for a drug store.  We found a grocery store, then a store that looked like a drug store, but only sold hygiene products, then we finally found a pharmacy.  Apparently in Europe, there’s no such thing as one stop shopping.

Finding a Pharmacy was clutch (Erin found it) . . . but the ladies working behind the counter didn’t so much speak English . . . so we had to kind of act out our symptoms, and hope they understood.  We settled on a product called “Stoptussin” thinking it was close enough to Robitussin that it had to do the same thing.

Anyway, Josh and I got back to the hotel with our new found meds after walking Erin down to meet up with the rest of our crew who had gone to dinner.  A little nervous about taking the meds that we couldn’t really read the instructions for, we decided that we’d take it at the same time.  It just seemed like the right thing to do.  When we opened the package, we discovered that the measuring device for this cough syrup was a syringe.

The following is a transcript of our conversation:

Josh– “We don’t have to inject this stuff do we!?!?!?”

Matt– “I hope not.  Oh wait . . . there’s no needle.  I think it’s just for measuring.”

Josh–  ”How much are we supposed to take?”

Matt– “I don’t know . . . how many kilograms do you think I weigh?”

Josh– “I don’t know, like 70-90?”

We decided to find a Czech person to translate the instructions for us. 

 

So, about our project:

We’re working at a place called “Holy Hill” which is a residential rehabilitation group home for young men dealing with addictions as varied as heroin, meth-amphetamines, alcohol, and even gambling.  It’s a part of an organization called Teen Challenge, based here in Plzen (www.teenchallengeplzen.cz), which is also linked to Maranatha UMC, here in town.

We went to church there Sunday morning, and had a guy named Mirek sit behind us for the service, translating everything.  At one point in the service, I heard my name . . . and noticed that everyone was looking at me.  Apparently they wanted me to come up and say something.  So I went up to the microphone, jet-lagged  and lacking any strength in my voice.  I managed to mutter a few sentences for the translator, but it felt like I was speaking broken English.  ”Hi Everyone.  Thank you for welcoming us to your church, we’re very glad to be in worship with you today.”  That was it.  I know. . . . I know.  

Like I said, jet lagged and sick, and put on the spot.

So today, we got over to Holy Hill, got the grand tour, and got to work painting.  The facility is an old 15th century farmstead that’s been renovated into a group home.  Not much of the construction has changed though.  I’ll get some pics posted soon, and I’ll post a link here when I can.

The last thing we did today was play a game called “leg ball” . . . there’s a Czech name for it, but I don’t know it.  Anyway, it’s basically a cross between volleyball, tennis, and soccer . . . you play with 2 or 3 people to a side, on a court that looks like a volleyball court, but has a net like a tennis court.  You can’t use your hands at all, and you get three “hits” to a side, just like volleyball.  It took us a while to get the hang of it, but once we got it . . . we loved it.  Erin shot a short video clip of us playing with a couple of the Czech guys from the house . . . I’ll see if I can post it.

Ok, that’s it for now . . . I’ll try to get more posted when I can get back on again . . . 

Later.

-MH

 

catching up . . .

It’s been a while . . . let’s catch up:

I went to Green Bay for Christmas this year.  It was cold.  I’d better start from the beginning, though.

Erin and I flew out of Harrisburg on Christmas Eve morning, where it was chilly, and a little icy . . . but certainly not dangerous weather.  It took the ground crew about an hour (while we sat on the tarmack) to get the “de-icing” truck over to coat our plane with that pink goo they use to make sure your wings don’t freeze up while you’re 30,000 feet in the air.  Once we were properly coated and airborne, it came to our attention that the 60 minute delay in departure time could possibly make it difficult for us to make our connecting flight from Minneapolis to Appleton, WI.  We asked the flight attendant: 1) if we should be concerned, and 2) if there was anything she could do to help us make that connection.  Her words to us:  “Don’t fret . . . we’ll make it in time.”

Needless to say, we didn’t.

So we’re at the NWA gate agent counter, checking on the next available flight . . . and the guy says oh, don’t worry . . . it automatically booked you on the next flight to Appleton . . . TOMORROW AFTERNOON.  Excellent.  I was dreaming of a Christmas Eve in the Minneapolis Airport, and now all of our wishes were about to come true!

After explaining to the man that this would not be an acceptable option, he offered us an alternative.  They had chartered a coach bus to take some people and luggage to Green Bay, and it was about to leave.  So we got on the bus, and rode the 5 hours across the state of Wisconsin.  It all pretty much looks alike.  Very similar to Ohio.  Not much to look at.

Anyway . . . we made it to Green Bay in time for Erin to sing in church that night, and we had a delicious Filet Mingion wrapped in bacon for dinner.  It turned out to be a good night.

Christmas was fun . . . we all went and served a turkey dinner at a homeless shelter in Green Bay on Christmas Day, then opened presents . . . good times. 

I got to go on the Lambeau Field tour, and got to see the Packers play the Detroit Lions.  I also got to eat fried cheese curds.  They’re amazing, but there’s no way they can be good for you.

After the Christmas trip, I headed out to the Rose Bowl to work as a Tour Escort for Centre for Travel . . . we had about 900 clients that I was helping to “take care of” . . . making sure their luggage got to the right place, making sure they got on the right tour busses, etc. . .  it was a lot of work, but I got a free Rose Bowl trip out of the deal, so I can’t complain.

I’m only teaching 11th grade health now, and no phys ed . . . which is interesting.  The second time through is definitely easier though . . . this time I have some idea what to do, and I don’t have to make it all up again . . .

Anyway . . . that brings us to today, kind of. 

In about 3 weeks I’ll be heading back to the Czech Republic for another mission project.  I’ll try to post from there each night, as I’ve done in the past, and I’m working on an easy way to post pics . . . besides facebook.

Later.

-MH

 

Grant Herbert Hoffert

About an hour ago, I found out that my grandfather, Grant Hoffert, passed away.  He suffered what I think was his third heart attack, and the police found him sitting in his van.  This is the first grandparent of mine that has passed away, and so I’m not sure it has totally hit me yet.

I have a ton of respect for my grandfather.  In his 80+ years on earth, his resume was loaded:

- Army Sergeant, WWII– Drove a truck that transported tanks and fuel to and from the front lines in Europe . . . specifically Germany and Belgium.  Also used his knowledge of the “Pennsylvania Dutch” language to work as a translator for German prisoners of war captured by American soldiers.

- General Contractor, GHH Construction– Ran a business based in Hellertown, Pa and built a ton of houses in that area, including his own.  All of what I know about home improvement type work comes mainly from my father, who worked for him during high school and college, but I also got to spend some time learning from him.  His teaching style was basically to hollar at me when I screwed something up . . . but I never got it wrong twice . . . so it was effective.

Volunteerism: 
–President of the Hellertown School Board (now Saucon Valley School District) 
–Boy Scout Troop Leader
–Hiawatha Hunting and Fishing Club . . . a 50 year member, he built and remodeled a ton of stuff there.
–Give Kids the World Village– Kissimmee, Fl– For years, my grandparents spent their winters down in Florida, and he volunteered here, and built a lot of the place.
– Hellertown Historical Society– he engineered and led the renovation of the Grist Mill in Hellertown, which is now the town’s historical museum.

He was the father of 4 kids, and had 8 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.

There’s probably a lot more that I’m missing, or forgetting to include . . . it’s difficult to capture his life in a few paragraphs.

Grant Hoffert was just a tough man.  Some might call it stubborness, but I always respected the way he approached life.  Nothing could keep him down, no problem was too big for GHH to handle.  He was probably one of the smartest people I have ever known . . . simply from an engineering standpoint.  He was always coming up with some kind of a device to solve a problem, or making something in his woodshop for a family member.  He was incredibly creative when it came to woodworking, and everyone in the family has something that he made for us as a gift at one time or another.

He taught me how to fish, and how to shoot a rifle.

I never knew him to show a whole lot of emotion, but you could tell that he cared about you just by his actions.  He was a doer.  He didn’t like to talk about stuff . . . just wanted to get it done.

I’m glad I went over to his place last weekend to help hang their christmas lights.  It gave me the chance to see him one last time.  We worked together to hang lights on the big holly bush in their front yard, and I used a tool that he had made specifically for that task.  Typical GHH engineering. 

It’s tough to describe what I’m feeling at this time.  I can’t say I’m overly sad because I have the perspective that he lived an incredible life (I look at the partial resume above, and I can only hope to accomplish half of that) and went out in a way that he probably would have chosen.  He wasn’t stuck in a hospital bed, or laid up at home for months, not able to get up and do anything.  That would have pissed him off and made him miserable.  Instead, he was in his truck, probably on his way down to the Grist Mill do some work. 

I loved and respected him, and I celebrate the life he lived . . . and I think that would mean more to him than any amount of tears shed for him.

 -MH

 

Thanksgiven.

Since I’m the only one of the kids left in State College, it’s my job to drive Grandma and Grandpa to most major family gatherings.  I have absolutely no problem with this . . . they’re great, and we take their van, which means my car gets a break.  Grandpa climbs in the back seat (sometimes he watches old John Wayne movies on the DVD player). . . usually he’s asleep by the time we get to Lewistown.  Grandma chats for the first half hour, then sometimes dozes off . . . and we ALWAYS stop at the same Hardees for a bathroom break and a cup of coffee.

We headed home from the weekend on Saturday night, leaving Myerstown at 8pm, and arriving in State College right around 10pm.  I know you’re impressed.  The trip was uneventful . . . G and G were sleeping, and I was cruising, listening to ESPN Radio on the XM . . .

After stopping to fill the gas tank, Grandma said she wanted to put some music on.  I agreed, and the last leg of our trip became the longest 40 miles EVER.  XM has a radio station called “Escape.”  A better name for it would be “Department Store” or “Elevator” or “Waiting Room”.  I need to have a serious talk with my grandmother about which music is appropriate for a road trip, and which music is most likely to induce a coma.

This afternoon was the “Family Get-Together to Decorate the Church, then Have a Pot Luck Dinner” event.  I think they called it something shorter, but I can’t remember.  I signed the youth up to decorate the College Avenue Narthex, thinking that if they were gonna ask us to take care of an area, it was gonna be one that people see.  The team of youth and parents that showed up to help out was AMAZING . . . we got many compliments from folks about the job they did.  I was especially happy that I didn’t really have to do much.  I just bought some decorations and got the people in the room . . . The Moms took over from there and did their thing . . . and it looks great.  It’s nice to have such a huge, supportive crew of parents that want to be involved with what we’re doing.  I need to remember to not take that for granted.  I hear Piltz tell stories of limited parental involvement, and issues at his new church, and I realize how good I’ve got it here.  Now, if I can just get a couple of them to stay overnight at a lock-in . . .

 -MH

 

lost, then found. well . . . not lost. just displaced for a minute or two . . .

I finally made it home at around 3am this morning.  After a 7:30 flight out of Atlanta, we got our luggage and headed for long term parking with no issues.  Then came the drive from Baltimore back to State College.

At some point in the past few days, I must have discarded the form with the directions from SC to BWI . . . I’ve made the trip a number of times, so I didn’t think it was a big issue . . . but at 10:30pm, after just landing . . . the route numbers weren’t coming to me in the correct order. 

First, I couldn’t remember if we wanted to go east or west on 695.  Then I missed the exit for 95 North and ended up on the campus of UMBC . . . which wasn’t bad, because I took a guess and we found our way back to the highway.  Then I got off onto 70 East, when I should have just continued to 83 north . . .

By the time we made it to Harrisburg, I was in the zone and feeling good.  Dropped off Stacy and Kim, then had to drop off the church van, get my car, and head for Philipsburg.

Next time, we just fly out of State College.  It’s easier.

I intended to get up and make it to the staff meeting at the church this morning, but that didn’t happen.  I was wiped, and needed to get some laundry done.  I’m chauffering the grandparents to Myerstown for “Thanksgiving at the Farm,” and we’re leaving Wednesday afternoon.

I missed a bunch of stuff while I was gone . . . and now I’ve got 1 day to get caught up before leaving again.  We’ll see how that goes.

 

Caesar

We have a two-day “stay of execution” this week.  Sort of. 

Tax day is Tuesday instead of today.  I know that in the bible, it says “render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s” . . . but I have trouble with the concept of giving the government even more money than they already take from me each month.  Don’t get me wrong . . . I believe in everyone paying their fair share.  And I know that we all benefit from the money the government brings in.  What kills me is the fact that the people who are least effected by taxes (those with the most disposable income) are also the ones with the most creative accountants, who can get them out of paying a lot of their taxes.  So the rest of the expense falls to me . . . the guy who’s barely scraping by.

The good news is:  State College owes me $139.43.  Let’s just hope the Commonwealth (HA!) of Pennsylvania and Uncle Sam are as generous.  I’m not too optimistic.

 

Praha (Prague) Day 4

FINALLY, we got up and headed to the Center, which was only a few blocks away from the hotel.

Jan, George, and Tomas came with a couple of vehicles for our luggage, and even loaded up most of the group for the trip over.  Tyson and I walked, which was actually good, since it helped me get a better sense of the local geography.  We had breakfast at the Center . . . hard boiled eggs, cereal, yogurt, pepperoni, orange juice, coffee, cucumbers . . . don´t ask.

After breakfast, we took a tour of the grounds, got settled into our rooms, and had a group devotional.  Then a couple of us headed down to the bank to exchange some money.  Tyson had some travellers checks to cash in, and I was going to try a cash advance on my church credit card . . . which was declined.  Apparently, itś a good idea to let Mastercard know when you are going to be out of the country, requesting large amounts of money.

After Tyson got all of the cash we needed (I think he cleaned out the tellerś drawer) we headed back for lunch, which is apparently the BIG meal of the day here.  We ate a LOT.  By the way, this is the only Methodist mission center I´ve been to where they´ve got beer on tap.  Just saying.

After lunch, we met with Jan, the director of the Center, who explained their mission here, as well as some of the projects we´d be working on.  We got a tour of the interior of the buildings, then had some free time, where we finally got a chance to use the computer lab.  Seeing the group rush to the computers reminded me of the piles of trout at the fish hatchery, swarming after a pellet of food that was just tossed in.  Until now we had no way to communicate with the US, so we were sure no one knew our flight had landed safely.

After dinner, a crew of us headed to Prague by bus, then Metro.  The city is amazing.  Words wouldn´t do it justice, so hopefully I will be able to post some pictures soon.  We went to the main city square, then walked over the Charles Bridge and back.  We even saw where the scene from Mission Impossible took place, where the director guy pretended to kill himself and fall off the bridge.  It was a fun night . . . but tiring.  I think we were all ready to fall asleep on the Metro ride back to Ho Po.  More to come . . .

MH

 

Praha (Prague) Day 3

(the following events took place on March 11)

I slept well last night . . . and got up this morning to a breakfast of pastries, cheese and voda, which is water.  One letter away.  Food here is cheap . . . each pastry was about .7 crowns . . . 1 USD = 20 ck, so that is pennies for what would cost 1.50-2.00 at Starbucks or Panera.  We walked down to catch the train to L-town, which cost a little less than 5USD per person (theres no dollar sign on this keyboard, so I have to use USD instead).

The train ride was a new experience.  The first train was just like riding a subway or a CATA bus.  However, when we switched trains, it was the kind with the hallway down the side, and the closed off cars.  The girls said it was like the train that Harry Potter rode to Hogwarts.  I took their word for it.

We showed up in L-town in time to catch the end of Roddicks church service.  We had no clue what he was saying, but when he stood up and said some words . . . then ended with AMEN . . . we knew we had been benedicted.

After church, our Czech guides took us to lunch at a place on the town square where we had to go down three stories into the catacombs before we found our table.  We ordered, then went on a tour of the tunnels and caves below the city . . . very odd and very dark.

Meals at restaurants are very different here.  Waiters do not seem to be in too much of a hurry, and they look at you funny if you dont order beer with your meal.  When in Prague . . .

After lunch, our guides took us on a tour of the city.  These guys knew everything about the town . . . history, architecture, local legends . . . it was cool.  Czech people have a ton of pride in the history of their country, and they LOVE to tell people about it.  It was much better to get that from a person who has lived here his whole life, than from a tour book purchased at Barnes and Noble.

After our lengthy stroll around L-Town, we got some ice cream (one of the girls asked Roddick how to say “ice cream” . . . he said “ummm . . . ice cream” . . . we laughed.) and headed back to the station to catch the 5:10pm train back to Ho Po.  Unfortunately, this was NOT an express train, so the ride took a bit longer.  We made it to the transfer station, and found the right train to bring us back to Ho Po.  But . . . this train was one of those new 2 story trains with tinted windows and lights that are on all the time . . . which becomes problematic for a group of Americans trying to read the signs on the walls of train stations as they go by . . . we couldnt see out of the train. (it was dark outside by now.)  Needless to say, we were a little concerned about finding our way home with no “guide”.  Luckily, this new train was decked out with a digital readout of upcoming stops, so we made it back . . . so we just needed to look for the “Ho Po”, and we made it back ok.

On the way back to the hotel, the girls kept bugging me to let them go wander around Ho Po to see what there was to do.  At first, I just said “no” because I was tired, and there was no way I was going to let them go alone.  After some more begging at the hotel, I decided the only way to get any peace was to let them get it out of their system.  I grabbed Brad, and we set off to explore HoPo’s night life (I just found the apostrophe!!!!!) . . . on a Sunday night.  There was nothing going on, as I suspected . . . but at least I let them explore a bit.  We did stop at a place with a big sign that said “Bowling” . . . when we got inside, we realized it was a bar with a couple of lanes on the side, and the bartender said “Bowling Finished.”  So we left, and went back to the hotel.

 MH

 

pourin’ some out for my homies . . .

so I checked out karl’s blog, and then I checked out spence’s blog, and I decided that I can do that too.  and I was bored.  i also realized that cool bloggers don’t start sentences with capital letters.  that’s a step outside of my comfort zone . . . so I’m considering this a PGM {personal growth moment} for me.

anyway, I figured it was appropriate to give karl his props, since I’m copying him sort of.  thanks man, that’s good lookin’ out.

need to clean the house.  mom’s coming to visit.

-MH